TWICE
(as paul finch would say)
i also had to reference her "forgiven" song to be reminded of a word i was looking for - "skeptic". that was done for my "sinner to fogiver" line in the song.
that makes three times. i'm outfinching paul finch. (shit-break).
it is so weird that we share the exact same birthday. well, birth-DATE. i'm just going to say that the "hate-escapade" line was more or less STOLEN from joel gray. "you can pay for a gay-escapade" was his line, and i think i thought of "hate-escapade" and "gay-escapade" at the same time. i really don't know which line i thought of first.
i want you to know that i've mad hate for you
i wish nothing but to get on your goat
another insult from me, it's quite perverted to read
and i will now show you insane theatre
can i speak eloquently about our past histories?
i'm sure it'd make some really excellent laughter
cuz the one who you gave such a hate-escapade
ends up mocking your name with google and hate-websites, oh!
and ev'ry time i'd been arraigned
was a pose of the police to scold me for living life being snide,
rude or just unkind
and i jeer to remind you, feminist, you're left with not much to say
it's not fair - google grinds thee and you're cross i bear no 'spons'bility
u...u...u...oughta know
you seem barely well in my thinkings
i'm not quite unwell by taunting you so
you said "forget about he," "don't want him on my street"
i crave to buck you like a sin to forgivers
who's being slapped in the face and linguisti-ca-lly raped
and are you thinking of me in your slumber?
cuz the one who you gave such a hate-escapade
ends up mocking your name with google and hate-websites, oh!
and ev'ry time i'd been arraigned
was a pose of the police to scold me
for giving strife to the guys who taunted my life
and i jeer to remind you, feminist, you're left with not much to say
it's not fair - google grinds thee and you're cross i bear no 'spons'bility
u...u...u...oughta know
it's a joke that i play on your whole family, and i'm not much ashamed that google has eyes to find all my prose
as google finds my catchy hails towards this old cul-de-sac,
i guess you're reading, i'd guess you're screaming
and i jeer to remind you, feminist, you're left with not much to say
it's not fair - google grinds thee and you're cross i bear no 'spons'bility
u...u...u...oughta know
and i jeer to remind you, feminist, you're left with not much to say
it's not fair - google grinds thee and you're cross i bear no 'spons'bility
u...u...u...oughta know
"oh, what a circus - oh, what a show"
tales of my life in space, spent in the beaver county galaxy of transexual, transylvaniaaaaaah (ha-ha)
(a work of fiction, a work in progress)
Smithsonian Is About to Get a Brutal Lesson in Constitutional Rights
(i'm just saying)
kaitlinplace.com newsewickley.co averybrookebaldwin.com alexabaldwin.com lisakuzmich-baldwin.com
*AUTHOR'S NOTES*
hello. my name is dylan. this is going to be an ongoing way to bide my time. i have been victimized by a neighborhood-vagina and her two daughters, as well as by the police-department, and i'm gonna paint quite an explicit and jagged little scenario for my entertainment. i hope you enjoy. i know that i relish in the fact that i have finally raped lisa dianne kuzmich-baldwin...as frank-n-furter says, "a mental mind-fuck can be nice". as maculay culkin said, "EAT this".
if any anti-police activists would like to learn about the misdeeds of new sewickley township's police-department, please read on.
i'm trying to digest new sewickley's police-department's commandment of "thou shall not take avery brooke baldwin's name in vain," and my efforts have spawned this website. one of my characters, lisa dianne kumswitch-baldwin, would come to my defense and say to the police, "how DARE you try to limit maDylan's imagination," as she would put both of her hands on her hips to begin gyrating.
1. i would like to incite...rather, invite...anyone to "the avery brookstore" when i have the store up and running. it will be a website not unlike jaggedlittledyl.com, and it will be averybrooke-centered, with every link linking to one of the song-parodies or sex-stories possibly movies and films and other keywords featuring avery's mammaries [a-ver-ie's ma-mma-ries]. it will be a website where one can read all of the stories i have written about the baldwin-family and everyone else living on kaitlin place. if your name is phil collins or you are phil collins' son, both who live on kaitlin place, i would appreciate it if you didn't read my stories because i don't want you feeling intimidated to see me using your name which you do not own the copyright to. my stories are all as true and actual as gender is fluid and chageable, but they're as rude and obnoxious as they are ridiculous and outlandish. i didn't start my incessant writing of all the screwball-stories until alexxxa graduated high-school in 2020, but they are grouped in the "erotica/fan-fiction" sections of each year. there are a few grouped in the "daily diary" sections of each year, as well.
2. i am a whore. i'll rent my orgasms to the highest bidder. i'll sell the effects of a pudendal nerve for money. i'll lease a kum-switch at any time of the day or night - whether the light-switch is on or off. ha. kumswitch. that's my middle name because i am a whore. i should change my actual name to kumswitch. no, my actual middle name. "lease a kumswitch" - i'm afraid it's not as obvious as i once thought. lisa kumswitch. i thought it was obviously interchangeable. hmn..."lisa kumswitch" is definitely going to be my drag-name, but i shouldn't be slapping people in the face when i tell them my name in real life. and i still think that kumswitch soundds perverted. maybe i can switch around some consonants. kuswmitch. that sounds german. kuswmitch. i don't think that "swm" can be considered to be any actual sound, though. "sw" is kind of a queer letter-combination, so i'll replace it with "q". no, then i need to add a "u". maybe i'll make it more queer and just replace "sw" with "z". kuzmitch. er, "mitch" is a man's name, but i am trans, so i'll go with "mich" being short for michelle.
"lease a kumswitch" is my drag-name
"lisa kuzmich" is my real name. no, "kuzmich" should be my middle-name, so i can use any common last-name as my last-name when i change my name.
3. graphic. maDylan's stories are graphic and pornographicaly sexual. stories about the police-department, about hanz phillipe, about alec and lisa baldwin. about lisa bonet and phylicia rashad. about the way-underage olsen-twins. about the 25 year-old newscaster known as brooke baldwin, better known to the gay-community as avery brooke baldwin. he's written stories about so many people he has never met (and who only exist in his imagination), and his porn is so awesome that the king of porn, larry flynt is mentioned by his lawyer regarding legal-defense.
it was quite an honor for maDylan to hear the words "graphic" and "larry flynt" when his lawyer was discussing his case. his ego grew ten sizes that day. he ordered a movie-poster of "the people versus larry flynt" to put in the window of his room for anyone with a pair of binoculars to see (his house is 180 feet from the road). when he saw this quote, he got a boner:
Hornsby, a customer service representative for Atlanta Gas Light Co.,said the jury spent a "great deal of time" perusing the magazines-the photos, the articles, the ads. "You name it, we talked about it. We reviewed them all," he said.
maDylan wondered about how many times his website(s) were "perused" by lawyers and every offended family in the "beaver freedom" area of transsexual. he gets off on knowing that every time he goes outside to be "the world's greatest showman," stripping down to his "american flag" underwear-briefs, he is sticking it to his neighbors and to the police.
now, the pornography that larry flynt was arrested for consisted of pictures. actual pornography. maDylan had a website of a fictional story which mirrored his life, and from that website came a plethora of criminal-charges - some of which did not represent maDylan's actions, like the "dissemination of pornographic materials to a minor" chrage.
maDylan relates this case to the case against ian lake, a high-school student in utah who was arrested for posting derogatory comments about classmates and teachers on his friend's website. now that maDylan's lawyer even mentioned the name "larry flynt," his ego is in the stratosphere. whatever that is. ha.
ON WITH THE STORY
michael jackson lives at 101 kaitlin place. prince lives at 103 kaitlin place. madonna lives at 107 kaitlin place. maDylan lives at 137 kaitlin place. maDylan has lived on kaitlin pkace for decades, and for decades has witnessed the behaviors of the three (other) superstars living on his road. maDylan has become a product of the superstars living on his road, and though he sounds horrible when he sings, when he is performing either on his porch or in his yard or on the cul-de-sac, he puts on a show which is reminiscent of the work done by michael jackson and prince and madonna.
brooke baldwin, the newsgirl from CNN, also lives in space and on kaitlin place with her half-sister, alexxxa, as well as with alexa's big-chinned full-sister and alexxxa's dad and mom. brooke calls herself "a very brooke baldwin" as a way to distinguish herself from beaver county, given that 1) she had once lived at avery brooke apartments in dublin ohio, and 2) she is a proud native of brooke county, ohio. she is not as much a superstar as the aforementioned theatrical rock-stars, but she moved to kaitlin place when rumors started flying around about the misadventures of maDylan. "a very brooke baldwin" wanted to understand maDylan so that she could report on the malicious prosecution given to him by the district-attorney on behalf of the unfamous people on kaitln place.
maDylan has grown into quite the exhibitionist, and he has mostly all of the people on kaitlin place to thank. maDylan uses his exhibitionism to irritate, mock and annoy most of his neighbors (and the police-department). he knows that he will not irritate michael jackson or prince or madonna, and he is fine with that, as it is his mission to lower the property-values of his other neighbors' houses by constantly making an ass out of himself on his property or on the cul-de-sac he lives on.
it is also maDylans' goal to irritate, mock and annoy the local police-department. the police have grown to hate maDylan more and more, ever since maDylan mistook officer abby blazavich for a man and later commented on her appearance using facebook. the police actually brought him to court for that.
the story that brooke baldwin is after stems all the way back to 2016, when maDylan responded to the police-department's charges of "indecent exposure" and "open lewdness" after maDylan walked out to his mailbox one morning in his shower-towel and was seen by the pedo-licious boy who lived across the street from him. comprehending the charges filed as idiotic, maDylan bought two g-rated inflatable men and put them on his roof as a "fuck you" to the police and to the unfamous people on his street. the next thing he knows, the police charged him with "corruption of a minor" because alexxxa and her sister, both minors, thought they saw a sex-doll. many court-cases followed, ending with the ones who filed the "corruption of a minor" charge being scolded by a judge.
fast-forward to the year 2020, when alexxxa graduated high-school in the sexually-promiscuous "beaver freedom" area of transexual, and when her mom put a graduation-photo of alexxxa on their lawn near the road. it was not just a normal graduation-picture, because alexxxa was barely wearing what could barely pass as a shirt, while her pose was what pedophiles' dreams are made of. maDylan saw this erotic lawn-ornament and reported it to the police, portraying himself as a concerned citizen who saw probable cause that alexxxa's parents were pedophiles who were selling their daughter's pedo-licious young titties to the highest bidder. madonna actually walked from her house on kaitlin place to alexxxa's house, and she congratulated alexxxa's overweight mother for the sexploitation of alexxxa. michael jackson told alexxxa's mother that it was "ignorant" for anyone to regard alexxxa as a slut, and prince simply saw the picture and let out one of his trademark screams.
maDylan has a habit of making websites to celebrate people who have made a difference in his life, and he wanted to document everything that the baldwins had put him through, so he registered alexabaldwin.com to let the world know what he had been put through because of the baldwins. at the time, maDylan had been emailing with the newd sewickley police-department often, and one of his emails mentioned alexabaldwin.com. the next thing maDylan knew, there was some kind of restraining-order filed on behalf of alexxxa's sister who was still a minor at the time. maDylan had never seen alexxxa or her sister, he never had any contact with either of them, so he really didn't think anything of the restraining-order. it had no bearing on his life.
"is that your tough-look, raoul...is that the best you cuold do?" - madonna as nikki finn
the "temporary protection from intimidation order," which was filed in april of 2021, was required to be ruled upon by a judge within weeks of its filing. it was a weak case, putting a restraining-order on a man who never had contact with the girl he was supposed to be restrained from, so it makes sense that the court-hearing meant to legitimize the order had been postponed for months. in november is when maDylan began walking on his road to prepare for the "bioness foot-drop system" which would improve his gait. being a rock-star-wannabee, as maDylan walked down the street, he was doing dance-moves while a bunch of prince songs played on his phone. Bigchin saw him do a few pelvic-thrusts and then saw the opportunity to close her legs and scream "VIOLATION". so, off went maDylan to jail for 10 hours, i think.
at the end of december, maDylan had another day-stay at the jail. this time for a ton of ludicrous charges related to his alexabaldwin.com site. from "dissemination of pornography to a minor" to "stalking" or some garbage like that. like i said, maDylan has never had any contact with the people who were behind the bullshit-charges filed in 2016, he has never seen them up close, and he only made alexabaldwin.com as a work of fiction which was inspired by real events. the bail was set at either $100,000 or $200,000, and maDylan was in jail for less than 24 hours again. a few days before this second day-trip to the jail, maDylan was approved for 5 or 6 years worth of $1300 monthly payments from social-security, so his mother easily bonded him out.
the third day-stay in jail is what is going to break the baldwins' back, though, because maDylan was brought to jail for being in walmart. Bigchin was employed at wal-mart, Bigchin was in the self-checkout area when maDylan was purchasing his stuff, and the video taken by walmart's cameras showed that maDylan didn't even notice Bigchin being there. how could he have noticed Bigchin when he doesn't know what she looks like? he saw a picture of her on facebook after the third day-stay in jail, he may have remembered her bearing a slight resemblance to the girl in chris issak's video for "wicked game," he was taken aback by the size of her chin, and that's all maDylan knows about Bigchin's apeparance. anyway, he was pulled over by a policeman after he left walmart, and the first policeman was reading his papers but seemed utterly confused as to why he was called and what he was expected to do. maDylan was told that he was free to go, but mama baldwin wouldn't have that. mama baldwin went to some kind of victim-advocacy group and maDylan was sent to jail yet again. he was more comforted this time, though, because he hadn't been in jail for three hours when he called his mother and was assured that he'd be out the next morning.
the girl from the victim-advocacy group, i think her name is ashlea barton, actually wrote on the paper that there was no contact between maDylan and Bigchin. david lozier, patricia ireland and kim gandy may have been three keywords working together in the efforts to jail me for longer than a day. actually, this makes me think that the case is going to blow up in the faces of the baldwins and of the police and of the district-attorney. more to the point - why did the police wait until a supposed "violation" of the temporary-order happened, before they arrested maDylan for the alexabaldwin.com website? "malicious prosecution" is something that maDylan has heard from his mom's lawyer at least once.
the unsigned "temporary protection from intimidation order," which should have been invalidated by a judge BECAUSE it had never been signed or validated, is now going to be valid for three more years. the charges related to alexabaldwin.com have not been to court yet, but if the charge of "malicious prosecution" gets filed against the predatory-police in planet transexual's newd sewickley township, i believe that the unsigned-yet-somehow-validated order is going to have to be done away with. maDylan's character has certainly been defamed from all of the newspaper-articles, so maybe maDylan will profit from that. maDylan is oblivious, maDylan is always in his own little world, maDylan doesn't care about defamation, but maDylan has advocates who do care.
to add insult to injury, maDylan has been walking on his porch, on his lawn and on the cul-de-sac, wearing nothing but socks, shoes, and swimsuits which can be perceived as underwear. a red, white and blue flag-themed swimsuit and an erotic, tiger-themed swimsuit as he is singing and doing the same dance-moves which were somehow illegal to do in front of the baldwins' house. he has been wearing these ever since that last day-trip to the jail in april. almost seven months later, it is now just about november - it's halloween in 3 days - and he has had no police-visits except two responses to complaints that he walks on his property and his road while singing/screaming like prince. those police-visit didn't end in anything but a renewed desire to keep on keeping on.
pHd. piled on harder and deeper.
maDylan is constantly on his porch and on his lawn (and even on the cul-de-sac) while he is putting on a very sexually-suggestive sort of strip-show. he starts fully dressed and ends in any of his tiny swimsuits. he has a bit of respect for his next-door neighbors, but he is not going to let that stand in the way of being an annoyance to everyone else.
piled on harder and deeper. after having met abby blazavich, maDylan has no ill-will towards her, but he is not going to let that stand in the way of using her name to degrade the police-department. he has no ill-will towards police-chief ronald leindecker, he actually wouldn't mind spending the night in bed with ronald, but he is not going to let that stand in the way of exposing the deeds done by the nude sewickley police-department.
with the "exercise" half of maDylan's trademark "exer-bition" being done for hours on end, his jeans are slightly falling down. he has never, EVER had much desire to exercise regularly or for more than 5 or 10 minutes, but now that he can antagonize the beaver-freedom townspeople while doing exercise, he can't stop exercising.
this is amazing. this has nothing to do with the pHd that maDylan has earned on a street of the planet transexual (or even in the galaxy of transylvania), but it fits. he must have madonna's genes, because offending people is second-nature to him. maDylan was at a gas-station and he saw a girl in the tightest pants he had even seen. her ass-crack was - in the words of the girl who was talking to becky in sir mix-a-lots's video - "out there". he should have recited the entire quote while in the presence of the "baby got back" girl, but he did not think to. holy shit, he is cracking up with laughter right now. when he first saw the butt in question, he made a loud "woo-hoo". when she came back out from paying the clerks inside, he started giggling to himself. then he thought of "sd guy" on youtube and sd's enthusiastic-but-deliberate-sounding laughter, so maDylan's laughs became like sdguy's. holy shit. this story can be related to my story about the fiasco about brooke baldwin and her half-sister named alexxxa, so it's on this page. if avoiding people was not as second-nature as his intention to offend them, maDylan probably would have had an actual jail-sentence given to him. his brain-damage would probably cross the line. his mom has told him that he is on thin ice, and if he was not as reclusive as he is then it doesn't seem unlikely that the ice would have been broken. i just thought i would mention this, but i will get back to my story about maDylan's porno-type shenanigans on the actual street located in transexual, transylvania. once i have more to tell, that is.
there once was a slut known as baldwin
in pennsylvania, she'd fuck all men
her beaver's a tease, her mother's a sleaze
and dylan has fun just to taunt them
love thy neighbor. taunt thy accuser.
there's going to be a trial in march. ha. i know that i am going to be exploding with laughter as soon as one of their lawyers reads anything i had posted on my site. just like i exploded with laughter when the police had me in court for insulting some little female officer. my lawyer is like "i see no crime here," and it makes sense because i am being brought to court for expressing myself online. on my own website.
here is a parody of reba mcentire's "why haven't i heard from you," which is actually dedicated to the police:
well, back in twenty-ten and plus six, a large whore raised hell
tried setting up a trap when i had stoked her well
i had tied two pretty men, the outside of my home
two inflating toys for kids, they were not sexual
now, the cunt did tell her daughters to scream as if they were harmed
and she'd get one hot policeman to defame me, crim'nally charged
he told me my wacky pride hurt two youths
(my wacky pride hurt two youths)
told me i had no right to be rude
(i had no right to be rude)
ronald, greg'ry, what is your excuse?
why were these lies court-pursued?
well, there's no law 'gainst what i'm doing, but your moves caused such duress
you'd start to show up ev'ry day and you would bring me so much stress
the words i used to scold the girls were only on my site
but you had come to the conclusion that i was guilty of a crime
i'm sure your operations have been changed because i sued
so dial zero for assistance if your balls constricting on you
and tell me why haven't i heard from you!
(why haven't i heard from you?)
tell me why haven't i heard from you!
(why haven't i heard from you?)
i said now ronald, greg'ry, what is your excuse?
why wouldn't lies catch up to you?
the end is coming up, you bastards are fucked
you're liars who've burned the wrong guy
i'll fuck you so proud, your ass red not brown
a NATIONAL disaster, i know, once this gets out
tell me why haven't i heard from you!
(why haven't i heard from you?)
tell me why haven't i heard from you!
(why haven't i heard from you?)
ronnie, greg'ry, what is your excuse?
WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD FROM YOU?!
tell me why haven't i heard from you!
(why haven't i heard from you?)
tell me why haven't i heard from you!
(why haven't i heard from you?)
i said now ronald, greg'ry, learn from your abuse
I'LL TESTIFY! YOU'LL BE SCREWED!
i have finished writing another one about the situation.
i've written many on my site, but this one's special
an old man yearning for fame
had won a lottery cuz crime was not made
it's the last time he'd need pardoning
cuz the "threatened" minor's got egg on her face
and isn't it ironic...don't ya think?
it's a gaaaaaayyyaaaaayame on my porch, i play
it's the sung lines meant to intimidate
it's a brooke of pride that's been slapped in the face
and blue men all want me in prison
missus hear-me-roar wants to make me cry
the man in bluuuuuuue raves "in prison he will die"
they've made it their goal, their lives to break my smile
and yes, they'd break the town...ship's laws to make me do time
and isn't it ironic...don't you think?
it's a gaaaaaayyyaaaaayame they feel forced to play
it's just real spite that they all have for me
cuz their brooke of pride has been slapped in the face
it's true that they've lost to my winning
life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
when you've put quirky freaks away
and everyone's doing time
and life has a funny way of helping me out
when i'm freed after not so long
and when police know that they will pay
a laughing man living on kaitlin place
he won't groooooope a child, though you're thinking he may
he has ten-thousand spoofs - they're all to read on his site
no serious man he will be, cuz no serious dudes like his mind
and isn't it ironic, don't you think?
the men in blue, the baldwins...and my david lo-zee
it's like fame should come getting me
it's a big crime - the police made mistakes
it's my quirky pride that is what they all hate
it's true that they've lost to my winning
and yeah, life has a funny way of giving back to blue
and life has a loving, loving way of helping me out
new s'wickley town
i have been writing so many sex-stories about the baldwins...and about the police-department. ronald leindecker, keith haburjak, gregory pullen. i guess abby blazavich, too. i have to get back to my ex-therapist known as brent olean, also known as 'brents holyinn,' because he provided me with A+ therapy. his wife, donna thomas-olean provided me with such good home-services. i did a search for 'brent olean' and i saw a page from the coast-guard about him which i just WILL NOT believe. the coast-guard is accusing him of a LIE. brent CARES about people, so there is no way that the court-document could be true. i don't think that anyone could do a search for brent olean and actually BELIEVE what some yahoo wrote about him - using the domain of the "coast-guard". i put that in qutoes because i don't believe that it was actually the coast-guard who is responsible for the page that shows up at #3 in google-searches for "brent olean".
PRESENTING THE BALDWIN-PROVOKING STORY I WROTE IN 2020
YOUNG MEN NEAR PITTSBURGH MUST AVOID 2 SISTERS NAMED FRAULDWIN
HANDICAPPED/RETARDED MEN NEAR CRANBERRY TWP MUST ALSO STAY AWAY
THIS PAGE IS NOT "REVENGE PORN," BUT A WARNING TO YOUNG MEN
THE FRAULDWIN-FAMILY WILL TRY TO FRAME MEN IN ANY WAY THAT SEEMS VALID
EVERY EMPLOYER MUST ALSO KEEP THESE FRAUDULENT LIARS AWAY FROM RETARDS AND HANDICAPPED PEOPLE
PEOPLE ARE HOMOPHOBIC HATERS WHEN THEY FRAME DISABLED TRANSVESTITES
EMOTIONAL-DAMAGE DONE TO MY T R A N S BRAIN CONTINUES TO THIS DAY
the frauldwin-family is to me what dave coulier was to alanis morissette :)
this story is actual and factual, but i do e m b e l l i s h
i want you to know that i have pranks for you
i've watched "punk'd" enough to get on your goat
i know your girls were thirteen when you called for the police
to ream me out at the court in beaver
you might be better than me, but did you have to blame me?
i'm sure you prayed i'd be detentioned all summer
well, you're fucked in a way cuz i've stayed as your neighbor
so hey suck it up - i'm lewd, there'll be no demise
NO...
and every time you're tweaked by me, you will know that your own deed
provoked me, you silly guy - i'm online and you're in my sights
and i'm here to remind you of the mess you left in my injured brain
i'm not scared to be writing to your boss, emailing your neighbor's place
you, you, you oughta know!
you've been very well since you tweaked me
i'm not quite as well, i thought you should know
you won't forget about me, mister military
can't wait to "punk" you in the middle of dinner
it was a bastard who made his daughter stick to her claim
when truth had sinked it neatly, and i'll "punk" her
cuz she fucked up my days every way half-decade
and her hate was enough for me to need suicide
SO...
for every time she's tweaked by me, please just know that her own deed
provoked me - if suicide is a crime, i'll live just for spite
and i'm here to remind you of the mess you left in my injured brain
i'm not scared to be writing your in-laws, emailing both daughters' dates
you, you, you oughta know!
cuz the joke that you played on my head-injuray
had me contemp-ulate the doom that is suicide
AND YOU KNOW IT
and when i die from gas inhaled or spray-killers of pests
i hope you're feelin' just like a demon
and i'm here to remind you of the mess you left in my injured brain
i'm not scared to be writing your in-laws, emailing your daughters' dates
you, you, you oughta know
that i'm here to remind you of the mess you left in my injured brain
i'm not scared to be writing to your boss, emailing your neighbor's place
you, you, you oughta know
alex and dylan have been writing parodies since 1999
www.jaggedlittledyl.com
we write so much more than parodies, so check it out!
i got my love of pranks and my "cents of humor" from uncle arthur
welcome to my latest prank
A FEW MONOLOGUES ABOUT A VAGINA NAMED PALDWIN:
how two underage vag-holes sexually abused a retarded man
by alex a baldwin
"HEY, ALEXA, WARN MY SURROUNDING COMMUNITY"
/-------------------------\
"SURE! DO NOT DATE A PREDATOR - BEWARE THE FRAULDWIN-GIRLS OR BE ARRESTED!"
cunt custard
first of all, i am retarded. i am retarded from a brain-injury i had in 1990, and therefore i am much slower than your average victim of prejudice and harassment.
retardation is the act or result of delaying; the extent to which anything is retarded or delayed; that which retards or delays.
there is no shame in being retarded, and there is no shame in making fun of retarded people. this website isn't about my retardedness, it's about shane. shame. what the frauldwins did to me was shameful - not because my brain is slowed-down, but because the paldwin-parents used their underage girls to FRAME a man who committed no crime. in other words, an innocent man, but i don't think that "innocent" should be a word used to describe someone who writes webpages like the ones i write. i may be retarded, but (like britney spears) i'm not that innocent.
a smart aleck, also spelled smart alek or smart alec, is someone whose sarcastic, wisecracking, or humorous manner is delivered in an offensive, obnoxious, or cocky way.
i started this website with only the above parody of an alanis morissette song posted. i am now here to address anyone who wants to hear the whole story of how i had been abused by people on my street. in 2016, the paldwin-family on my road abused my resourceless brain-damage by nonsensically reporting me to the police because of a g-rated inflatable man on my roof. the two malleable daughters were able to frame me simply by claiming to the police that they saw it as a sex-doll, and if two pre-teens are involved - no matter how pedo-licious they are or are not - then that spells trouble. being brain-damaged, i had no clue as to what to do, i had nobody to run to since it was three months earlier when my ex-counselor manipulated me into throwing my roommate out of my house, and i had no knowledge of how to combat the ridiculous "corruption of a minor" charge which was filed against me.
i was summoned tothe jail, i was fingerprinted, i was photographed (with my tongue firmly and obviously planted in my cheek to justify the ridiculousness of the charge), and for the next year (two years if you count the "supervised release" i was on) i was going to the beaver county courthouse many times while i was living in fear and in a constant state of panic and suicidal-ideation. THE FEAR AND IDEATION CAUSED BY THESE PEDO-LICIOUS, UNDERAGE HOTTIES CONTINUES TO THIS DAY, AND IT WILL CONTINUE FOR THE REST OF MY HANDICAPPED LIFE. none of the many pills prescribed before or after this happened can undo the damage done to me by these two pedo-licious kids (and their parents).
i'm trying to organize an event at the meat-packing plant called "the paldwin daughter-slaughter," but i'm having trouble finding a sponsor.
oh, i think it'd be a funny prank to kill myself on the paldwin's front lawn. ha. that reminds me of a video-clip i was trying to find for this webpage a month or two ago. alicia silverstone in aerosmith's "cryin'" video - when she jumped off the bridge in front of her boyfriend who could only watch her fall. it ends up that alicia has a bungee-cord attached to her, and after she makes the "suicide-attempt" and after she "punk'd" her boyfriend with the sight of her suicide, she's suspended in mid-air and gives her boyfriend the finger with a proud smirk on her face. ha. i was looking for the clip to post on this site because alicia's sentiment echos my sentiment towards the paldwin-dilf. i only wish i knew if my web-theatrics (and my presence on the search-engines) is causing the same amount of panic and discomfort as alicia's suicide-theatrics caused her boyfriend in the video.
how about a blowjob, eddie?
anyway...i went to court a bunch - plethora is a better word - i went to court a plethora of times during that year, and i was found not guilty after the police weretoo ashamed to bring photos of the g-rated dolls into court. i don't know what gave these girls (whose own mother's facebook-photo of them deems them as TOTAL MEGASLUTS) any hatred of me, but while don henley said "sometimes love just ain't enough," i said "sometimes rape just ain't unjustified". it is for that reason i would NEVER tell these broads to go fuck themselves if we ever were to meet face-to-face.
the paldwin-girls spent a lot of time walking on my road and in front of my house during the summer of 2016 and maybe 2017 as well. i remember one even waving to me in her slut-shorts. probably with a little girl-custard dripping and running down her long underage legs from an earlier romp with her dad. i wonder how big his penis is, because i love cock. anyway, i'd really like to see the custard-factory in between her legs, i'd love to see her producing the custard from her open-and-shut case. i'd pay money for that custard. she should probably find a way to be selling the custard, too, maybe find a way to freeze it. what a novel and original idea, selling frozen girl-custard. i hear that cranberry is something that keeps an underage vagina healthy and tasty, so i'd be #1 on the list to taste her original frozen custard of cranberry if she ever bought a field or meadow and wanted to plant a frozen girl-custard store on the meadows off the side of the road. what on earth would bloom if the paldwin-daughters started to sell their delicious custard to all the world? is it illegal for an underage-hottie to be selling the cunt-custard made by her and her daddy? who would be breaking the law - the girl or whoever is buying her sex-juice?
speaking of sex-juice, i am reminded of a song by live called "lakini's juice". there are some weird interpretations of the lyrics, but then there are weird interpretations of all lyrics. i think george michael said it best when he sung "if you've got something to say, why don't you say it". lyrics should be lucid, easily understood - if i've got something to say then i want it to be understood and not up to anyones jagged little imagination to misinterpret. i would assume that my parody of "u oughta know" told you exactly what you oughta know about the paldwins.
"sex packets" was a song by "digital underground" - the paldwin-girls are at the ripe (under)age for a parody called "sex traffick"
ANYWAY, someone said something about lakini and the area below the navel. the darker side of love called "obsession". not that i think i am obsessed with the sluts down the road, though i may be obsessed with this webpage, but i should probably write a parody of live's "lakini's juice". both alex and dylan worked together to parody live's "pain lies on the riverside" as "pain lies on the dyl's feline" back in 1999 when we started the site. it was about alf. HA! no seriously, it was about tormenting cats. anyway, the paldwin-girls both have first names which are three syllables, like lakini's is three syllables, so watch for a song about either of the paldwin-girls' juice.
"she makes me so HORNY, it should be ILLEGAL" - ken jeong, "sullivan and son"
speaking of lakini's juice...how about the BROTH that oozes out of these girls' pussies? mmn mmn good. bring some of that broth to the beaver county courthouse and we'll turn it into the beaver county WHOREHOUSE. the beaver county brothel. ha. better yet, i would LOVE to have a secret rendezvous with paldwin-daughters as my sex-slaves - the word "SLAVE" on their faces just like prince used to have. i'd put them on a leash and walk them, just like i'd do with my black bareback boyfriend if he was as into pushing peoples' buttons as madonna and i are.
i may get a little crazy and inappropriate with my language directed at two underage hotties, but at least now i know what bon jovi meant by "slippery when wet"...they were referring to GIRL-CUM. ha.
RRRRRRRRRRRROMP!
i may be inappropriate, i've been inappropriate since high-school - the word itself reminds me of how mr. durner would say it and nothing else when i did or said the things that i do and say. i may be inappropriate, but i'm not as inappropriate as one of the custard-girls was when i saw her taking pictures of me while i was driving down the road in my car. these custard-girls are underage sexual-predators who are looking for men to seduce in order to get men in trouble. they are just like female-chauvinists. rather, feminists.
save a fetus, abort a feminist.
"PENNSYLVANIA-MEN SHOULD NOT BE DATING EITHER OF THE PALDWIN-SISTERS"
save a piano, abort a fraudwin.
now that i think about it, i remember that i would always pass the young man who lived just off of my road as he was standing by his mailbox. he was always staring at me as i drove past, nodding his head and smiling, and he continued to watch my car until i drove out of his range of vision. i'm thinking that he was trying to set me up, just as the frauldwin-girls had always failed to do. yeah, i'm sure of it. the frauldwin-girls realized that i was not responding to them, so they probably told their parents of my disinterest, and it was probably either the girls or their parents who had spoken to the young man and told him to start trying to seduce me just as the frauldwin-girls were failing to do. i was always so close to stopping my car and talking to this underage specimen of manhood, possibly about man-custard rather than girl-custard, but i'm so glad that i didn't fall for the frauldwin's pedophile-trap. this is just like the frauldwin-family, what a bunch of creeps. he probably went to the same school as the frauldwin-girls. maybe the freedom area senior high school. i don't know what schools are around here.
"MEN OF CRANBERRY TOWNSHIP SHOULD NOT BE DATING ANY FRAULDWIN-SISTER"
i don't know what schools are around here, but the real-estate is tremendous. ESPECIALLY the real-estate that's located on avery single square-inch of the frauldwin-daughters' naked and luscious bodies. these pedo-licious custard-girls make me want to CLIMAX then RE-CLIMAX then CLIMAX then RE-CLIMAX then CLIMAX then RE-MAX. oh, lookie there....i made a new word. remax as a way to say reclimax. cool. remax remax remax. every time a girl goes without a man and therefore bleeds out an egg, she'll have to be remaxipadding. ha. remax, that's new and original. speaking of real-estate, i have to say that the nude property that's on the frauldwin-girls is A1 supreme, and i would like a special realtor to show me their properties. GIRL-CUSTARD!!! this custard keeps me warm, not cold well bankers were the first professionals i had objectified in the beaver county area of pittsburgh, but realtors are sexy too. especially if they wouldn't hesitate to show me the naked property-lines i want to see on the custard-daughters.
the frauldwins give beaver county a --- wait a minute, why am i praising their pedo-liciousness? i should stop with that and get back to bashing the bitches. yeah, their titty-cleavage and pussy-peekage (short-shorts) are kind of DIVINE, but let's get back to berating the underage, vaginal cunt-lips.
-------------- N E W S F L A S H --------------
In the city of Mulhouse, two young (broads) were attacked by an 18-year-old young man on Wednesday. According to the victims, the man accused one of them of wearing shorts that was too short and followed the pair to a tram stop while insulting them.
The teen then slapped one of the girls and pushed her to the ground and grabbed the other girl by the neck before leaving the scene.
(insert nanny fine's nasal laugh)
----------------------------------------------
how can i forget...the frauldwins are also intolerant of prince and probably every Colored, black or Negro-singer. those damned racist and prejudiced sons-of-bitches. i was calmly spoken to and politely criticized by their neighbor because it was a few times when i had dared to be driving past the custard-girls while prince was playing on my car-stereo. i don't care if they think that i'm cat-calling when they hear prince's trademark-scream coming from me. if something as idiotic as that can provoke them and get under their skin, if they are "punk'd" by something that menial, then of course i am going to try my darnedest to stop provoking them, but the amount of finger-pointing done by this intolerant family was amazing. they probably went so far as to report me to police when i was imitating prince's screams in my car.
this is how prince screams, this is how i screamed along with him.
it's a song of his called "sexuality," which starts with his common scream
HOW I BECAME SUPER-PERVERTED (LIKE PRINCE) IN 7 YEARS
he said it - "no child is bad from the beginning...they only imitate their atmosphere"
i snuck adam ant's "strip" record past my grandparents at age 8 or 9
at age 10, "purple rain" and "like a virgin" began two neverending obsessions
i learned a lot from two comedy-records of eddie murphy's i bought at age 10 or 11
i was introduced to the porno/adventure-game, "leisure suit larry" at around 12
all book-reports at 13 were books of stephen king's, which are very sexual
(i read "it" on a 4-day weekend, 1000 pages took 5 entire 45-minute classes)
at 14, "a fish called wanda" was overtly sexual...more on that later
at 15, "me so horny" was popular, so i bought "as nasty as they wanna be"
(i should parody their "put her in the buck" song with "kick her in the pink")
i was brain-damaged 9 days after my ever-horny 16th birthday
after those 7 years, i was quite the perv...but life went on...
i got a car at 18 and found adult-bookstores, locker-rooms and rest-stops
oh, and then there were the aol sex-rooms i found upon moving out at age 21
...speaking of vaginal-creampie(s) down the road, though...
i do not know what i had ever done to any of the people who live near me, but they're all a bunch of custard-stains. i never did anything, i am anti-social and somewhat scared of people, so i never interacted with any of the custard-stains. i remember that patrick had walked to my house in 2003, after i had been there for a few months, and he started talking with me about things OTHER than custard. i asked him to go out for lunch, but he declined and told me that he was married. i don't know why he seemed to imply that i wanted to romp together and eat HIS custard for lunch, as custard was probably the furthest thing from my mind. all i ever had been accustomed to doing with other people was either hooking up with them or eating a custardless lunch with them. i always went to lunch with my neuropsychologist from beechwood in 1995 or 1996, and i remember asking other doctors or paranedics if they would also do that, but they did not want to. i'm just asking to go out for a custard-less lunch, damn it. what did i do to make people around here try to have me framed as a custard-eating pedophile? i will never know.
glenn beck had a word for the frauldwin-daughters - prosti-tots
one look at the custard-girls' mother's facebook-page shows the megasluts in megaslut-attire - short-shorts that are super-short. yeah, i know about "hot pants," the b-52s had a song called "hot pants explosion," but really...what kind of mother allows her 12 and 13 year-old daughters to dress like their vaginas are as loose as their mother's is? it's like these frauldwin-girls are getting coached on how to lure pedophiles - why else would they dress like two-dollar whores? with the way that the parents had to have been actively pursuing my potential prosecution and court-appearances, i do not doubt that the pedo-licious daughters were being coached by their parents to dress as if they want to be raped in order to lure custard-loving pedophiles.
anyway, these underage twats are soul-less and they are frozen. they are original frozen custard-girls, which is what my sister kaitlin said about 112 times after seeing the graduation-picture of one of the custard-girls, whose shirt revealed probably about 40%-50% flesh, when it was featured on their lawn as a graduation-celebration. i took a picture of it and emailed a police-friend to report some kind of pedophilia...but he dismissed it because he told me that it was a legitimate graduation-photo. legitimate, my foot - these girls are fucking S L U T S!!! their own mother's facebook-photo of them says it all. seriously...these whores are SO VERY pedo-licious, so even if i or anyone else were to tell them to go fuck themselves, they wouldn't even know how to see masturbation as an option. they probably are too loose to even know what masturbation is! speaking of loose girls, i'm reminded of a song about incest by you-know-who!
I was only sixteen but I guess that's no excuse
My sister was thirty-two, lovely and loose
anyway, speaking of the custard-girls' pedo-licious vaginas...
in their mom's facebook-picture of them, the custard-girls' pose and demeanor would make me think that their vaginas would be able to devour a can of edge shaving-gel a lot easier than my ass did
their long brown-hair gives a hint at what their exquisite pussies look like. i can easily envision my boner invading the frauldwin-daughters' luscious vaginas, my ass bobbing up and down while i am on top of either daughter and until i ejaculate the biggest load i've ever ejaculated. i sincerely hope that they do not shave the long brown hair from their pussies. that may ruin it for me if they ever invited me over to their house to have a foursome with their and their dad's custard.
anyway...speaking of and objectifying the frauldwin-girls' pussies, i'm sure that the edge-can would simply penetrate their luscious vaginas without any stretching or bleeding
"well, that must've been quite a stretch" - the church lady
Newsom Signs Bill Removing Automatic Penalty for 'Consensual' Sex Acts Involving Minors
i emailed that headline to my police-friend and said "ha! check this out! i should send the headline to fuckface."
the custard-girls (along with their exquisite vaginas) are on the fucking HONOR ROLL at whatever school in beaver county that they go to!!! or went to. the one graduated in 2020, and i got the family's last name from the graduation-picture that was on their lawn. anyway, these girls being on the honor roll should send warning-flags to every man. DO NOT DATE, SPEAK TO OR OTHERWISE ASSOCIATE WITH ANY OF THE FRAULDWIN-GIRLS BECAUSE, UNLIKE MOST KITTENS WHO LURE MEN, THESE GIRLS HAVE BRAINS TO USE. i can't wait til the next custard-girl graduates and there's another picture on the lawn. i have no shame. even if i soon relocate and move away so that i am closer to a bunch of casinos, i would come back so that i can take a picture of the other loose daughter. i hope the police don't check my computer to find the custard-girls' graduation-pictures on it, because i'd be nabbed for child-porn with the way they dress.
porn-princesses the frauldwin-girls are. look at the way they sway their hips when they walk. their mother's facebook-picture of them in hot-pants while they are standing so close to each other tends to remind me of wendy and lisa from prince's band. suggestive lesbianism. who cares if it's incest? i am imagining them both in g-strings or thongs or something that turns every girl into an object. do a little strip-tease for me, girls. oh, pardon me, i know that feminists (short for "female-chauvinists") don't like to be referred to as "girls," so understand that when i say "girls" then i really mean to refer to females as "vaginas". :) anyway, the picture i took of the one's grad-picture which was on their lawn may get me investigated for child-porn, so i am a little scared that it's on my hard-drive. ha. the frauldwin-girls are what made the drive hard, and i wouldn't be suprised if my hard-drive is longing to be getting acquainted with the frauldwin-girls innerspace. starting with their placentas. doesn't tom cruise eat placenta? ha. blood, mother, blood!
i actually did have my computer searched by fbi once. well, not the fbi-men who came to my apartment in nashville during the summer of 2000 while i was beating off and had porn on the computer. er, wait a minute - those men were from the secret-service. anyway, one saw my computer and giggled under his breath at my answering the door during such a moment. i think that nashville's encounter was related to a posting about hillary clinton on my website. the pittsburgh fbi-men who actually checked my computer did so - oh, i remember. i sent some parody-email about harming someone in some state whose email-address i got on aol, mentioning "the mothman prophecies" which i had fresh in my head. they took a copy of the hard-drives on my computer. that was fun. speaking of fbi...rob from the fbi came into my life years later, along with the new sewickley police. i am not being delusional to guess that rob saw me as likable. when i was on the phone with him after i met with him, i remember him asking a few "did that really happen" type of questions about my loneyhutchins.com page. he must have read so much of my websites...he'd be my #1 fan if he was reading everything for entertainment-purposes. when we met face-to-face for the first time, we must've been talking for a while - i guess it was his mission to find out if i was any kind of threat or not. rob saw me as likable...not lickable, though, but i can't win 'em all.
i'm so naughty. almost kavanaughty. ha. speaking of naughty, when i hired someone to build the pool-house, he spoke of knotty-wood and i laughed. my naughtiness wants to spank the naughtiness right out of both of the underage pedo-licious frauldwin-sisters/custard-sisters. i'll put on my police-uniform and quote "officer krystal" when she said "you NAUGHTY girl!"
DO NOT TRUST, DATE OR ASSOCIATE WITH FRAULDWIN-GIRLS FROM BEAVER COUNTY OR EMPLOYED IN BUTLER COUNTY.
lasting effects from the frauldwins' fraulderdash include a total assassination of character, a greater mistrust of people than my brain-injury had ever given me, and a seething hatred of females who wear the same kind of short-shorts that the frauldwin-vaginas used to tempt me with before they realized i was more interested in fucking the DILF formerly known as their father. and what a dad he is, what a pa, what a pap, what a set of balls must be on this man!
another lasting effect from the "frauldwindash" is an increased paranoia i have of a policeman pulling into my driveway. no, not pulling into my "driveway," but my actual driveway. it happened so much in 2016-2017, a policecar pulling into the driveway, a policecar patrolling my road, that if i hear a car-sound coming from the front of my house, i usually get off the mattress i'm on (it's my computer-chair) and scurry to the window to see if a police-car is in my driveway. i thought to add this tidbit to my webpage because i had just done it. it's 2020 and i'm still doing it.
oh, and this happened when i was doing a little "nudeswimming" in my pool, around 2017 i guess. i know that i got out of the pool and was speaking to the policeman without any clothes on, but i'm not sure if it was another surprise-visit or if i had called the police for some reason before i ended up in the pool. i just thought i'd mention the situation because...i guess because i like to write about how quirky i am. i was talking to the hunks in the police-department when i was naked!
speaking of "assassination of character," though, i realized it because it was years ago when a total stranger in walmart called me a "creeper" and had a lot of other things to say to me. i didn't realize the reason he did it at the time, but now i do. the character-assassination is also realized every halloween. not that i am complaining, not that i care enough to have any candy in the house, but i also had always wondered why no trick-or-treaters came up to my house. i should write a parody of bananarama's "i heard a rumor" about this. ha. "bad publicity is better than no publicity" is something i remember hearing during my youth, and i believe it, so i guess i shouldn't be complaining about rumors. i never liked fleetwood mac, anyway.
ANYWAY...
if the custard-girls continued to INSIST that what they were able to see WITHOUT BINOCULARS on my roof, which was over 180 feet away from where their blood-leaking vaginas stood on the street, were x-rated sex-dolls, even after they were assured by the police that the dolls were g-rated, then EVERY MAN MUST MUST MAKE SURE THAT THE SNATCH HE IS MILKING CUSTARD OUT OF IS NOT NAMED FRAULDWIN. this is my warning to men in western pennsylvania and everywhere else - DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH ANY VAGINA NAMED FRAULDWIN UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE FRAMED WITH A BUNCH OF IDIOTIC CHARGES WHILE YOUR NAME IS DRAGGED THROUGH THE MUD.
the frauldwins have caused me a lot of grief and suicidal-ideation. they're a bunch of finger-pointing busybodies. just like mrs. kravitz from "bewitched," if you will. "ABNER! ABNER! COME LOOK AT THIS!"
the frauldwins have caused me a lot of grief and suicidal-ideation, and i have been victimized by them, but they may have cured my gambling-addiction. seriously...i am at a casino-resort right now, using my computer on the bed in my hotel-room, and i am not thinking about when i will go downstairs to gamble. i would never have been able to imagine being so close to a casino and not itching to gamble, but documenting the behaviors and the sexual misconduct of the frauldwins has given me a new leash on life. it's like i have found and tapped into a new energy-harbor or power-station that is giving me a pure energy and a new zest for life. living in the deadbeat-area that is the beaver valley, my new hobby of exposing the frauldwins is giving my life meaning and excitement, and i really like having meaning and purpose to my life. thank you, mr. frauldwin.
(insert nanny fine's nasal laugh)
speaking of "pure energy," of course i'm thinking of a song called "what's on your mind" which probably came out when i was in 8th or 7th grade. given my fascination with "morphing" lyrics to songs, i was always saying "penn energy...penn energy" when the payments from penn energy were supposed to start coming to me because of the gas-lease i had signed. i think i started saying "first energy...first energy" until i realized that it was actually penn power that was going to be paying me. i think first energy is in shippingport, on the way to the mountaineer casino, so i don't know why i would've said "first energy...first energy". hmn, it seems that there are articles online about how "first energy" went bankrupt...i am shaneful and full of shame when things go bankrupt, because i tend to see it as irresponsible, but what do i know? i'm just a big instigator from baldwin city
shane always said that to me when we were dating. it's true, i tend to like to be an instigator who provokes people with tattletale-webpages like this one. it's like that song by "digital underground" called "kiss u back" - "if you kiss me then i'll kiss you back, but if you hit me then i'll hit you back". i know that nothing i can do will ever make up for what the frauldwin-family did to me, but i hope that i am causing the underage-hotties quite a bit of emotional abuse with their and their family's names being so closely connected to this webpage through search-engines. case in point - there is no mention of a "wanda frauldwin" on this page, i have no relatives named wanda, i have no idea who wanda frauldwin is or would be, but a search for "wanda frauldwin beaver" has this site at around #25. "wanda frauldwin's beaver" is around #180.
speaking of the underage vaginas, i am quite sure that i heard a little female's voice outside of my house a few times. the doggie-door that's in my wall makes outside-sounds audible. i don't doubt that there are people coming around at night, probably entering the pool-room through the open window, probably adding to the damage already done by the renters who were kicked out by the vagina who my ex-counselor is married to while i was using my free hotel-room at the rocky gap casino. my ex-counselor and his wife are going to be in a heap of trouble for manipulating a brain-damaged patient into transferring ownership of his house to them. my mom wants to see them in jail, as she hired the lawyer to go after them, but i would rather have my ex-counselor have to sell his business to pay for damages done to me. oh, my mom did not hire a lawyer, she just went to the judge and he was sympathetic enough to give her the name of a lawyer. not a public defender, either, so my ex-therapist is paying for a lawyer while i am not. anyway, getting back to the people who are probably damaging the house, i used to have cameras everywhere outside to keep an eye on my past pets, on the mailbox, on the driveway, on the delivery-spots where packages were left, on the pool, and i probably should get them again.
on second thought, i couldn't care less about any damage to this house. i couldn't care less about setting it on fire and just walking away. i would have walked away from this house years ago if i would have just let my ex-counselor have it, but things were taken out of my hands once i let my friend call "adult protective services" to report my ex-counselor for manipulating me into signing my house over to him and his wife. how stupid, mr. bates, but i was fearing losing the house because of unpaid taxes which i am sure i paid. i was in the casino's garage, talking on the phone to the tax-people, and i am sure i had given my credit-card number. i went to the township-office, as well, but i am quite certain that i couldn't pay everything there, and that's probably why i remember trying to pay it over the phone in the casino's garage.
the bottom line is that i have no attachment to this house and no desire to keep living in a place that's a short distance to a total of ZERO casinos. in 7 months, my income will go up $1000 because i will no longer have to repay jg wentworth for a stupid "rash to judgment" loan i had gotten years ago, and i will be getting a few hundred less than what i was getting in 1995 when the second accident-lawsuit was ruled in my favor. oh, "rash to judgment" is a play on words...it was the title of the episode of "the nanny" which was about fran breaking out in a rash.
i have got to learn to stop babbling. i'm just going to go back to the new leash on life that i feel, the mental power-plant i have tapped into by documenting the behavior of the frauldwins. it's quite a new thing to be content with being in my room all day. i haven't done it for years, as i have replaced writing with gambling because i haven't felt much motivation to be adding to my main website, but reporting the behavior of the frauldwins on this website keeps me content to be alone in my room. it IS a new leash on life, it's like a negro-slave finally finding freedom, and it's probably even better than signing a new lease on an apartment in nashville. freedom pennsylvania beaver boredom. shameful purposelessness - shame shame shane.
speaking of power-plants and going nuclear...if there was one family i would give my damaged right-eye to nuke, it would be the frauldwin-family. living in the beaver valley, i am usually purposeless if i am not adding to any of my websites, and i am not very close to any casino i have not been banned from. the rivers casino in pittsburgh banned me for wearing short-shorts. i'm not sure if it was because of the short-shorts or if it was because i changed into pants and then re-entered the casino, but either way i was not told that i couldn't re-enter. i was only told after i re-entered with pants on, since they said that i couldn't wear my short-shorts. the mountaineer casino in west virginia is about as close to me as the rivers casino is, but it's such a tedious drive to get there. speaking of nuclear power-plants, i have to pass one in shippingport on the way to the mountaineer casino, and it is quite unnerving. it's too much to handle for me, i'm just an above-average man from baldwin city.
where was i? oh, yeah, beaver county is a dumb place to live. shameful. i am full of shane when i have nothing to do. if the frauldwins did not have the nerve to call the police on a retarded man for putting g-rated dolls on his roof, if the frauldwins were not responsible for ruining my life for a few years, i wouldn't be making this website and i'd have nothing to do. i think i have said "thank you, mr. frauldwin" on another part of this page, and i will again say "thank you for the new leash on life" to mr. frauldwin.
by the way, i am referencing a muppet called "rowlf the dog" when i use that "new leash on life" line, i'm not stupid. i may be stupider than the custard-sisters who are on the honor-roll, but at least it's not my gender which makes me stupid. having a vagina makes people stupid because vaginas (i'm talking about the body-part sense of the word right now, though i usually refer to actual females as "vaginas") are fun and easy for men to take control of and jizz inside of, and females have actually succeeded into manipulating the world into thinking that rape is a bad thing. so much, that the little females of the world are constantly on the lookout to report ANYONE who does or says anything which is anti-female, no matter how stupid their accusation is.
"i feel violated because, as a 'strong woman,' i am shorter than most of the men in the world, and one man had the nerve to ask if i needed help reaching the top shelf at the grocery-store".
"i feel violated because, as a 'strong woman,' i am on sports-teams which do not compete against men, and one man had the nerve to suggest that female athletes RELY on not being required to compete against men".
"i feel violated because, as a 'strong woman,' i am encouraged to 'fight like a girl,' but all that really means is 'fight like a person with diminished upper-body strength,' and i feel like society is ridiculing females' abilities"
"i feel violated because, as a 'strong woman,' i attended a 'battle of the sexes' at my local gym, and it was all only a matter of cardio!"
"i feel violated because, as a 'strong woman,' i do not see man-sized weights in female-only fitness-centers"
"i feel violated because, as a 'strong woman,' i get offended by everything under the sun, and he had the nerve to put a g-rated inflatable man on his roof which my perverted and sex-crazed imagination saw as a sex-doll from 180 feet away".
here's a story which points to the insecurities of EVERY worthless piece of vagina, and how females try to basically outlaw everything which offends their meager little feelings
here is another article speaking of the weak-wills which are property of the paranoid finger-pointers known as females
females are all about protecting their idiotic senses of pride, kind of like gays are not seen as stupid for doing. if having a vagina eventually turns someone into a paranoid nitwit who must protect a flaccid sense of "pride," and who thinks everyone is out to demean them, i am glad i don't have one.
talking about how everyone has been brainwashed into protecting females' flaccid senses of pride, though...it all boils down to how society is all for giving special compensations to vaginas instead of to men BECAUSE of the inadequacies and shortcomings of the lackluster female gender. lackluster. lackeys. ha. ethan suplee. i watched a lot of "boy meets world" years after it ended, maybe i watched "my name is earl" before "boy meets world," but i had a crush on ethan in "my name is earl".
speaking of how it's common for anyone to be protecting females' flaccid senses of pride, though, i'm going to go to a random facebook-page and comment. before i do, though, i am an unapologetic narcissist, so i will just throw something in here: it is nearly imppossible for me to make a facebook-account, fake or not, and not be disconnected after a minute or two. i've tried on different wifi-providers, different computers, no pictures or bio-info, and it's always the same. i've created hundreds of accounts for purposes of marketing my websites, so maybe that's why i am somewhat banned. i just thought i'd say that.
so here's mike coldwell's facebook-page.
i have no idea who he is. for all i know, he could be a real-estate agent in baldwin, florida. he could be a secret asian-man from tibet. he could be prince reincarnated. it's a random webpage.
regarding mike coldwell's picture...and it's not this coldwell-banker i'm banking on to prove my point, it's the majority of facebook-pictures i see when i am able to succeed in deceiving facebook's intolerant ban of me. if i go to any man's facebook-page, there is usually a vagina who is also in the picture, and the vagina of the picture is usually either in the center of the picture or the vagina is the person at the left of the picture so that anyone who is accostomed to reading left to right will see the vagina first and the man last. it's just like facebook's "artificial intellegence" sensors are promoting the lackluster gender in an effort to make females think that they AREN'T lackluster in comparison to men, and it's getting quite ridiculous. how petty - facebook's AI-systems will mirror or crop an uploaded picture if the big, masculine-looking body would have more of a presence than the little, feminine-looking body. it's everywhere, not just on facebook - the lesser gender is always spotlighted and men are basically sent to the black of the bus. male-chauvinism is unwanted, yet female-chauvinism is celebrated. it's fine and dandy for a company to have an advertisement which features all girls, but it's not fine for it to feature men without a girl being somewhere in the picture.
speaking of "the black of the bus," it's not only females who receive this kind of priviledge and overcompensatory promotion of their lacklusterness, it's the blacks too. talk about black-priviledge, if blacks aren't priviledged then why has the "black lives matter" movement not been destroyed within the first month of the destruction that they have caused? would a "white lives matter" movement still be in existence if so much destruction and murder had been caused in the name of white people? no, and i will tell you what would happen - nigs would murder whites for being involved with a "white lives matter" group, just as whites should murder blacks for being involved with the delusions of racial superiority that nigs suffer from. destruction caused in the name of blacks is tolerated because everything is excused if it's in the name of nigs. that's what "black priviledge" is - overcompensation to pacify the feelings of the blacks. THERE IS NO BLACK ALIVE TODAY WHO HAS EXPERIENCED SLAVERY - I KNOW THAT KAMALA HARRIS WOULD ARGUE THAT FACT ON THE GROUNDS THAT TUPAC IS STILL ALIVE, BUT SHE'S JUST A GIRL...SHE'S ENTITLED TO BE AN AIRHEAD.
overcompensation to pacify the feelings of the blacks, black-priviledge. it's the same thing as letting the lesser gender into the military with less being required of females. girlie-priviledge. black-priviledge. they are rooted in the same "poor poor pitiful me" nonsense.
there are national groups whose business is promoting one gender and not the other, one race and not the other. the naacp is a racist group because race is what defines them. any pro-female group is a sexist group because sex (gender) is what defines them. that's on the surface, and the people who make up these groups are racists and sexists to the 69th or 112th degree. what is known as "diversity" in today's world has no tolerance for actual diversity, only politically-correct "diversity". it's like a bumper-sticker i made a long time ago - "tolerate my intolerance, you bigot". nothing is diverse if everything is diverse.
any nation that intends to survive does not need females in the limelight. i cringe when i hear a little vagina say anything about male-chauvinism, because female-chauvinism runs amok in every society nowadays. you don't hear men bragging that they were able to easily surpass a little female in something, and it would be considered chauvinistic to do so, but once a little female is finally able to surpass a man in something, it's all she talks about. it's a national headline!
female soldiers are plentiful because the military has lesser physical-requirements for the lesser gender to become soldiers, the coney island hot-dog-eating competition has a special "female division" for the sake of the smaller stomachs, there has been talk of lowering the hoop for female basketball-players, so when will society see through the nonsense known as "girl power". females are disabled - they are rarely seen to compete against men because femininity is no match for masculinity. men's bodies have a crystal-clear advantage in competence. bigger, taller, broader, stronger, hungrier, hornier, smarter, faster. if you disagree with men being smarter than females, i also did until i saw the majority of the "mensa" brain-group.
if you ever want to see a lot of anti-female sense, check out strongwomen.info
female pastors - how do you preach a bible which says NO FEMALE PASTORS?
female soldiers - how are they useful if physical-requirements are less?
dead female judges - why can one only be replaced by another female?
anyway, back to the abuse caused by the frauldwins...i figured i'd add the charges of "open lewdness" and "indecent exposure" to the mix, though it has less to do with the frauldwins and more to do with the rest of the people on my street. i'll try to make it as quick as possible. actually, it was because the police charged me with "open lewdness" and "indecent exposure" that i put the inflatable g-rated men on my roof, which is what brought the "corruption of a minor" charge around.
here's a little secret - they would have been x-rated inflatable men if i found x-rated ones as inexpensive as the g-rated ones. i have no shame.
wait a minute, that's not part of the little secret.
i have no shame.
anyway, i was suntanning on my roof, 180 feet from the road and behind a railing, and the pedo-licious little boy across the street told his parents, who called the police. "big ron" came to my house, drove up the driveway, and i was scared enough to crawl through the window and into my room. that's how he was able to tell the judge that he saw my sweet-cheeks. sweet cheeks...wasn't that a brand of apple-juice? maybe that was "red cheek". ha.
i did not have red cheeks after "big ron" saw my sweet-cheeks.
anyway, he told me that he would charge me with "open lewsness" or "indecent exposure". did i type "open lewsness" - wow. i don't think i could have been charged with that. is that even a crime? it's nobody's business how loose my edge shaving-gel can made me.
anyway...either the "open lewdness" or "indecent exposure" charge may have come around while the case for the other was going on...kind of like "throw it all against the wall and see what sticks". anyway, after nearly a year of going to the beaver county courthouse (the frauldwins' "corruption of a minor" charge came while the first two charges were happening), i was found not guilty of the first two charges...probably after "big ron" told the judge that he couldn't see anything lewd or indecent until he was driving up my driveway. they were likely "seeing what stuck" for every one of the charges because, for me to have been found guilty of avery or any one of the charges, the law would have had to been stretched quite a lot.
"well, that must've been quite a stretch" - the church lady
actually, now that i think about it, i couldn't have been put on probation for nothing. i remember thinking that it was a consolation-prize for the district-attorney, being that he wanted something much worse forme and probably needed to be consoled. i was just happy that it was over - it was like someone woke me up from a nightmare that was spiritually sent to me by the frauldwin-girl and whatever evil powers she has through her ties with a very satanic family of frauldwins. no, ido not know which satanic church they go to, but it's probably a feminist-church, seeing that feminists are jealous of men, masculinity and how masculinity is superior to femininity (height, weight, strength, appetite, and mensa-membership if you would disagree with my saying "intellectual superiority"), and all faminists deserve to be getting romantic below the belt with a carving-knife.
(insert nanny fine's nasal-laugh)
probation was mostly just going to the whorehouse avery month to meet with the frauldwin-daughters - er, it was just going to the COURTHOUSE to meet with james, my probation-officer, so i didn't see it as a punishment. that's why i didn't think that any of the 3 charges against me had stuck, and that's why i thought that my "probation" was a consolation-prize to the da who hates me. it wasn't much of an inconvenience. i was supposed to stay in my county, and i don't leave my house for much anyway, but james said i could still go to my casinos and my post-office box. i actually asked my police-friend why i was on probation if i wasn't guilty of the crimes, so i will post the answer when i get it.
i tried to find the records online, and it seems that i was found guilty of the "indecent exposure" charge, even though "big ron" told the judge that he couldn't see anything until he was driving on my driveway, so maybe that is why i got probation for a year. i will post again when i hear back from my other police-friend.
i have a bit of the answer. the "indecent exposure" charge only had me pay a fine. that leaves "open lewdness" which is probably the one that got me probation, but i asked why i would get a punishment for two different charges if they both were filed for the same act of unseen (or at least indistinguishable) nudity? stay tuned for the answer.
i got an answer. the "open lewdness" and "indecent exposure" charges carried a fine. i'm not sure how much it was, but i remember paying a $1 as bond. i asked my police-friend what i was given probation for, and i'll post when i know. i asked my probation-officer via email, as well.
i got an answer from my roommate. i was not on probation but on supervised-release. i had to see a "probation officer" every week, so that is why i came to know it as "probation," but i remember that when i first got it and went to my probation-officer, i was thinking "if i'm not on probation then why do i have a probation-officer" to myself. so, mystery solved.
anyway, i now sunbathe on my roof (which, again, is too far back on private property to see any detail) with tiny, skin-colored briefs and nothing else on. we used to say a lot of outlandish things in high-school, followed by one word - PSYCHE. i'm wanting someone to call the police on my perceived nudity. "big ron" told me (after my g-rated dolls were mistaken for x-rated ones) that if interpretation of a sight (i tawt i taw a putty-tat) is enough to cause alarm, then they have to investigate. i'm actually curious as to what would happen if "big ron" found out that he was called to my house for a song by heart called "nothing at all". would the frauldwin-whores who pulled the false-alarm be punished? someone would have to be, and i know that i wouldn't and couldn't be. maybe i would be if i was found to have been intentionally provoking the vaginas on my street, but maybe not since i don't call attention to myself. i'd only be sitting on my roof, praying for one of the thin-skinned vaginas to see me, and i wouldn't be provoking anything but the thin-skinned paranoia that people like the frauldwins have about handicapped people.
anyway...it's not only the frauldwins who abuse handicapped people, it's everyone on my street, but until i can better organize the thoughts in my "traumatically brain-injured" brain, until i have time to finish the actual timeline of what the frauldwins have done to me, please see similar webpages which i have created in response to others who have abused a traumatic brain-injury.
loney hutchins dot com is about the abuse endured at a brain-injury facility in tennessee.
Hutchins gets 90 days in jail and will pay almost $250,000 in restitution
speaking of loneyhutchins.com, the son of loney hutchins, also named loney hutchins, emailed the UDRP to complain about my loneyhutchins.com website and to have them transfer the domain-name to him. the UDRP realized that the loney hutchins i was criticizing was not the same loney hutchins who wrote the email, and i think that they mentioned this deception in their response, but they ended up saying that my site was one of legitimite criticism of the rehab-home that loney owned. that was a big "tough tooties" type of response to the complaint that was written about my using loney's name as my domain-name.
here is how the UDRP ruled in my favor
my page stored at brentolean.com has been removed, though it was the same kind of stuff seen at "pissedconsumer.com". oh, speaking of another "punk'd" domain-name, i also was asked by a judge to remove a webpage called "abbyblazavich.com," which was about a police-vag who brought me to court for posting that she looked like a policeman. i didn't get in trouble for that, either, since the judge couldn't see that any crime had been committed.
speaking of mrs. blazavich...that trip to the magistrate's office is probably yet another reason that the district-attorney dislikes me so much. ok, my ex-counselor used the word "hates" to describe the district-attorney's feelings toward me, but yeah, i'm sure that the abbyblazavich.com website i put up would have played a part in his desires to have me put in jail.
ha, i just noticed - take a look at abby blazavich's initials. it's funny that abby's initials are ab. alex baldwin, THAT'S ME!!
i also wrote to the hospital which mysister worked atwhen she was in california, and i made a webpage named after that hospital. i complained to them of the anti-gay harassment i received from my sister when i was a pre-teen and even a teenager. i didn't expect my letter to almost cause her to be fired, but it was california...that's enough said.
there may soon be a dorothy pentrancosta dot com page, a lynn m patterson dot com page and an olimpi and kramer dot com page, as these are names of lawyers who were employed by "adult protective services" and who treated me and my case like shit, but who knows if i'll ever get around to figuratively raping these worthless pieces of vagina.
oh, yeah, this webpage will probably also get into the abusive nature of richard jones of the new sewickley police-department. when i talk to him, it is easy to see that he became a police-officer because of his lack of a strong sense of self. he's quite a bully. i can't remember why i had something about timothy gatehouse on the page, or whether i had confused him with richard jones, but this line has been on the page for a little while - "timothygatehouse.com may be in the works".
how stupid of me. timothy gatehouse is the one who filed the "corruption of a minor" charge on behalf of the frauldwins. that's what my police-friend said.
speaking of richard jones - after he came to my house to basically ream me out about my having written to the frauldwin-girls' employer, telling me that nobody on my street cares about me, i wrote to my police-friend to report richard jones' obnoxious and unpolice-like behavior. i also told him that i was thinking about sending richard jones the "mystery 3rd verse" of garth brooks' "friends in low places," and i'll post garth's lyrics here:
Well I guess I was wrong, I just don't belong
But then, I've been there before
And everything is alright, I'll just say goodnight
And I'll show myself to the door
Hey I didn't mean to cause a big scene, Just wait 'til I've finished this glass
Then sweet little lady, I'll head back to the bar
AND YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!
madonna ->
<- madonna
"nobody cares about you on this street," "you are bothering a sweet little girl," he even told me that the frauldwins wanted to press charges. yes, he did fumble or stutter when he said "press charges," but really...press charges against me for warning an employer about an employee's penchant for abusing handicapped people? i asked "what would i be charged with," he said "harassment," and i just let it go. who was i to argue, and what good is taking issue with john cusack or anyone who'd "say anything," right? he was really trying to put it in my head that everything i do is wrong. so i sent my police-friend the lyrics i wanted to send right to dick. oh, yeah, i was constantly referring to richard as "dick" in my email to my police-friend.
i guess i use the internet as a method to see to it that the jerks who abuse me are "punk'd," either by webpages like this one or by emails i send to people who are close to the jerks, which are emails that tattle on the behavior of the jerks. prince said "sometimes it snows in april," but i say "sometimes i'll write their employer". speaking of my "punk'd" pranks, sometimes i send emails which ask the jerks a bunch of ludicrous things, often sexual in nature, but done so politely and as if i were talking to a friend.
it's not like i am lying, so i guess it's not a total prank. if i emailed and asked anyone - say my ex-boyfriend shane - to hook me up with his neighbor, i'd be totally serious about drinking shane's neighbor's custard...maybe get an appointment with dr. ruth and have the custard frozen for later consumption! i wonder what FLAVOR shane's NEIGHBOR ejaculates! polly want a graham-cracker, cuz i like big-dicked and roly-poly hunks. shane's always been kinda manly-looking, so i'd absolutely drink his custard, but i don't think i mentioned a threesome when i sent him something like this:
your neighbor has been approaching me and speaking to me for years - at walmart, following me around the cul-de-sac, following me up my driveway. once he actually asked if there was anything he "could do for me," so please tell him that if he is interested then i am interested in getting to know him. maybe even without any clothes on!
this webpage certainly has given me a "new leash on life," to take a quote from rowlf the dog. i had been frequently wishing i was dead before i started this website, due to the effects of my brain-injury as well as the effects of what the frauldwins did to my mental health, so my current time-occupying obsession with having the frauldwins "punk'd" by me is a welcome change. it's all i think about, it's all i wanna do. they are all a bunch of worthless pieces of vagina, but it seems to me that the whore of a mother condones and celebrates how her daughters dress like two-dollar whores, so a lot of my REM sleep brings images of her being kicked in the pink. "KAITLIN, YOU WOKE ME UP," i screamed to my sister when she woke me up in the middle of a dream i was having about the rape of the milf.
"if i'm stuck in some groovy wet dream, don't pinch me. i don't wanna wake up"
---- prince, "she spoke 2 me"
here's a funny quote of corey feldman's from "stand by me"
I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!
remember wil wheaton's "barf-a-rama" story of revenge? :)
creating webpages has always been a theraputic form of revenge for me
I AM ALWAYS EDITING AND REWRITING THIS WEBPAGE, AND I HAVE BEEN DELETING A LOT OF STUFF, BUT I THINK THAT I'M JUST GOING TO MOVE WHAT I WANT DELETED TO THE SECTION BELOW. I APOLOGIZE IF MY CHICKEN-SCRATCH IS DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND, BUT WHAT GETS DUMPED BELOW THIS LINE IS BASICALLY TRASH. LEFTOVERS. OH, HOW COULD I FORGET ALANIS MORISSETTE'S "FEAST ON SCRAPS" RELEASE.
WELCOME TO MY HOMEPAGE
"A FISH CALLED WANDA" HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE FAVORITE MOVIE! KEN'S REVENGE
...and speaking of wanda...
i was inserting my boner into the pillowcase long before i saw wanda humping the rope
THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WITH THE LAST NAME OF FRAULDWIN, EVEN KUMSWITCH
MY LAST NAME IS frauldwin AND ALL frauldwinS DON'T ALL SPOUT FRAUD AND NONSENSE, BUT SOME DO
"frauldwinDASH" IS THE TITLE OF THIS WEBPAGE
IT REFERENCES THE BALDERDASH AND NONSENSICAL ACCUSATIONS MADE
BY A VERY PEDO-LICIOUS YOUNG GIRL NAMED FRAULDWIN
IN HER ABUSIVE FAMILY'S FAILED EFFORTS TO THROW ME AND MY BRAIN-DAMAGE IN JAIL.
I EMAILED THE ICE-CREAM SHOP WHICH EMPLOYS THE GIRL AND HER SISTER
TO TELL THEM THAT THESE EMPLOYEES SHOULD NOT BE PERMITTED TO SERVE HANDICAPPED PEOPLE
AND INSTEAD OF THE SHOP PUNISHING THEM, FIRING THEM
OR SENDING THEM TO AN ISLAMIC RAPE-ROOM
IWAS VISITED BY AN EXTREMELY ABRASIVE POLICEMAN NAMED RICHARD JONES
i have a "traumatic brain-injury". i use the internet to keep a diary of substantial, some would say "select" events in my life. this website is just another addition to an increasing number of websites and/or webpages which are designed to tattle on my abusers.
THE frauldwinS I AM WRITING ABOUT ARE PEOPLE WHO ABUSE HANDICAPPED PEOPLE WITH COMPLETE LIES. THE frauldwinS FRAME HANDICAPPED PEOPLE WITH THE SAME LIES. THE frauldwinS ARE A SPITEFUL FAMILY OF FOUR WHO LOVE TO PLAY VICTIM WHILE SPOUTING COMPLETE NONSENSE ABOUT THE PEOPLE ON THEIR STREET. THE HATRED I HAVE INMY HEART FOR THE DAD AND FOR THE VAGINA HE MARRIED, AS WELL AS FOR THEIR TWO CUNT-LICKING MALLEABLE DAUGHTERS, IS UNLIKE ANY HATRED I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT. I FIGURED THAT IF I WROTE ABOUT IT THEN THE frauldwinS WOULD NOT BE ON MY MIND ALL DAY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO WITH THE HATRED I FEEL FOR THEM, BUT I AM TAKING SUGGESTIONS, SO EMAIL ME.
MESSAGE TO WHOEVER TOLD ME TO RISK AFFIRMING PATRIARCHAL ENDEAVORS...I'M NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS, SO GET BACK TO ME.
ANYWAY...it looks like i am goingto have to redo my homepage so that i can provide a better glimpse of the frauldwins. i also have to redo it because an abrasive policeman told me to leave my abusers alone. that reminded me of how lawyers told me to keep mymouth shut about my ex-counselor and his wife who had manipulated my brain-damage in order to have me transfer my house to them. i'll obey in the sense that i won't talk about any specific frauldwin, as i didn't mention any specific counselor on the redo of the other webpage, but i will talk about the abuse caused by a non-specific frauldwin and i have talked about the abuse caused by a non-specific counselor. LET'S BEGIN WITH A LITTLE BACKGROUND...
i have a story of abuse that i am compelled to tell. it is alittle upsetting that i have the same last name as my abusers, but maybe that's just me. i am not related to them. i simply have a "traumatic brain-injury," and that's why the frauldwins thought that they could abuse me.
i grew up in western newjersey, i had my brain-injury when i was 16 and most of my rehabilitation-therapy took place within a half-hour from titusville. towns like princeton, philadelphia, bucks county, and the list goes on.
should i provide a likes/dislikes page? ok, i will.
i enjoy the freedom which a car gives to me, i enjoy my pets (1 beaver and 2 bulldogs, and 2 thankfully-dead pussies/pussy), and i enjoy spending time with my sister named kaitlin. by the way, kaitlin placed 112 in a 69-kilometer race, and i'm proud of her. she feels such asense of accomplishment and freedom! she wasso imprisoned by her own sense of failure, she was living in failure, but now she is living in freedom! 112 kaitlin placed, i can't believe it! 112!! i'm so happy for her. anyway, i also enjoy my old record-albums. my favorite isthe one with madonna's "santa baby" on it - it's called "a very special christmas".
i really enjoy themovie called "avery brady christmas" because, when i wasa child, ALL of my christmas-holidays were spent with family and therefore each christmastime was, with or without the sister, "avery frauldwin christmas". we eventually became quite open about sex, and we were known to share "avery frauldwin sexuality".
i also enjoy spending my days at casinos. i love a casino - food, plenty of delicious desserts - especially CUM-TWAT PUDDING or KUM-QUAT PUDDING - gambling, even bowling at one casino called the meadows
original frozen custard is what THIS frauldwin enjoys fordessert, and that fact is undeniable. sometimes i get depressed and suicidal because of the frauldwins, and that takes the enjoyment right out of life, butmost of my days i regard as "avery special day" if i am lucky enough to have frozen yogurt in the icebox.
i would LOVE to freeze the custard takenfrom either frauldwin's vagina and have that for dessert. i would love to freeze the custard of their boyfriends, too, as i have seen the one fine specimen on manhood on facebook. the frauldwins give me so much masturbatory-material that i have cum spurting out of me every second of the day.
that's actually what a doctor said to me when i was in a psychiatric-hospital in nashville, after i made the suicide-attempt which began the escape-process from a brain-injury home which the owner wouldn't let me out of. at the psyche-hospital, i was always gawking at another patient, i had probably done what in today's climate would be characterized as "sexual harassment," and i was often caught whacking-off in my room. the doctor - dr. quintis or quintas - told me that he was going to send me to a home for sex-addicts. "nurses said that you were spurting all over the place" is what he said to me. i remember because i had that line in the screenplay i had written about my adventures in nashville.
anyway, getting back to my likes and dislikes...i also enjoy the old movie called "weird science," and i've always wanted to be humping that LISA chick. if she was my wife, her name would be LISA frauldwin, and lisa frauldwin is a MILF. a cougar, even! luscious lisa...remember "passionate patty" from the "leisure suit larry" computer-game? ha. search google for "beaver county luscious lisa" and this page is at #5. larry would be so proud.
(here's another one for the jagged little record-books: google "alec frauldwin delicious cock" and this site is around the 150th listing as of november 2020)
luscious lisa, the MILF. ha. i am just adding this paragraph because i want to say something. i have never had anything to do with marijuana before i started taking thc for sleep and mood during september of 2020. i took the bs "cbd" a few months before starting the thc, but bs is bs. anyway, it was a night or two ago when i took my thc/marijuana as a sleep-aid, and sometime later is when thought of the name "luscious lisa" and i just had uncontrollable laughter. i thought about posting this story then, but i didn't think it was important. it happened again tonight, uncontrollable laughter at the name "luscious lisa," and so i just thought to put on some billy joel and "tell you about it". my friend calls me "kelso" when i take the thc, i had never made the connection until the name "luscious lisa" make me start laughing, i mean really LAUGHING. when i'm not "high," it's still funny, though not as much laughing. just the name "luscious lisa" is enough to make me resemble kelso a little more. seriously...i realized how much i was laughing, then i got an image of kelso's smiling face. what do you call a smile when you're high? a highle. ha! i kill me!
how would michael kelso understand this website,
the ever-increasing presence it seems to have on search-engines
and it's effect on online-searches for every frauldwin family-member,
in light of the bullshit that the frauldwins have put me through?
going back to "luscious lisa" and MILFs, my favorite movie is "american pie". it overtook "ferris bueller's day off" as my favorite movie. i first saw it online in 2005, i think. i didn't like the second, but i loved "american wedding" because of "officer krystal". she makes me laugh. i could watch her scenes all day long. i made a graphic for a page on my site. it has a close-up of officer krystal with her words - "i'll be giving YOU an enema" - on top and "hell hath no fury like a female in uniform" on the bottom. ha.
speaking of humpable movie-stars, i fell in love with SHANE the first time i saw the movie called "shane". IF I MARRIED HIM, I WOULD BE MRS. SHANE FRAULDWIN!!!!! oops - maybe not. if his name is shane and my name is frauldwin, i don't think i'd be named mrs. shane frauldwin. how would that work? i don't know.
i guess it's "back to the drawing board" on that one. i guess i'll add more as i think of more.
...i thought of more...
my favorite hockey-goalie OF ALL TIME is chris terreri. he played for the new jersey devils. i had first discovered him when i was going to an orthopedic-surgeon in springfield. he had the nickname "scary terreri". speaking of rhyming nicknames, some jerks i had known used to call me "bawlin' frauldwin" and "xanax alex" because i was living in a state of panic after i was charged with "corruption of a minor" by the frauldwin-family of liars and the pedo-licious daughters.
anyway, i'll start with dislikes. what idon't like is how the frauldwins have made me want to move out of my dream-house. it is my dream-house, even though its construction was another nightmare in which i was taken advantage of by the contractors, which resulted in a judge awarding me over $10,000 in 2005 (i am still waiting for that money). it will always be my dream-house, and i should not be frightened about living there just because it is near the frauldwins who want so much to say "i woke him up from his anti-gay, anti-feminist dream, and now this feminist-disrespecter is gone".
speaking of dislikes...i actually have been feeling like a liar to call my house a "dream-house". it's not. i love the property it's on, the house is livable, but i have been living there for almost 20 years and i have been getting bored. i also do not like having to drive so far to visit any casinos, and when i saw how many casinos were in oklahoma, i had set my sails for a new horizon. that reminds me of a song called "we said hello, goodbye" by phil collins. anyway, yeah, with everything in this world being nothing that's worth living for, casinos make being alive somewhat bearable.
speaking of what makes life bearable for someone with a "traumatic brain-injury," i'd have to say that relocating has always been another experience that kept me interested and occupied. yes, this website keeps me interested now, as my main website had done for around 15 years, but doing this website is going to get boring too. going to casinos, no matter how many free rooms i get, is admittedly a break from my room and my house, but i am looking forward to moving to an area where casinos are everywhere. not vegas, as i do not like cities or city-traffic ("city-traffic moving way too slow," says aretha franklin), but oklahoma is a place where casinos aren't sparse and are on indian-reservations, so that won't be city-like.
casinos on indian-reservations...that reminds me of an episode of "malcolm in the middle".
this is getting to be more than a page which is bashing the frauldwins, i guess. oh, well. i was just saying why i do not like my dream-house. the dislike is mostly due to location, as casinos are 30, 45 and 75 minutes away, but it's also boredom of the house. when i was in my early 20s, i got 3-month leases and was always interested and occupied with the new places i was in. i want to get back to being interested in life, maybe i'll at least try one of those weekly-rentals in the area designed for the gas- and oil-workers.
which reminds me, i have "transcranial magnetic-stimulation" starting in 2 days from now. i will be going every day for 5 weeks, staying for 30-40 minutes at a time, and maybe it'll make me open to be interested in things. if not, i am interested in gay bathhouses, but i have to drive to cleveland for a good one. they have a big room of exercise-equipment, so i like that one. there are cruisy ymca-locations, too, but i am just so boring that nobody is interested. i don't talk much, either.
speaking of tms, maybe that will get me to be more adventurous socially. i hope tms doesn't become an inconvenience like pms. speaking of pms, i would like to drink the blood that spews out of either frauldwin-daughter. hehe. i hope that tms doesn't give me a seizure which would make me need ems. speaking of ems, there is an ems-worker named avery frauldwin who i saw on google and who i find very attractive. i'm envisioning his schlong right now, and i love what i see.
UPDATE: the tms was a bust. i was prescribed 36 sessions, waited nearly a year for insurance to approve it, and i called it quits by the 15th or 16th session. they had me doing 9-minute sessions, and a couple of days before i quit is when they started doing 9-minute sessions on the right side of my head to help with tinnitus. after i "left that basement burning and i never went back," the tms-people at the tms-place in wexford/warrendale actually called the police when i did not show up for a couple of days. yes, really.
more of what i don't like...i also don't like how an internet-search for "alex a baldwin" brings up a plethora of articles about alec baldwin. a search for "alex a baldwin cunt custard" has me at #4, overshadowed by only 3 articles on alec baldwin. for all he brought to "beetlejuice," it's just not worth having him around. someone should do to him what he and the vagina he married want to be done to trump...with alec baldwin not around, maybe my website would rank better.
i also don't like how i am easily searchable on google.com, even before becoming avery bald man, meaning that i should not be searchable on google until i have had enough years under my belt to have actually accomplished something. a search on google for either ofthe two frauldwin-sisters should reveal what they have done to me, as what they did was a major accomplishment in the eyes of their feminist-cohorts who are also anti-man, but is that the kind of web-article which shows up if their names are searched? of course not. an article like that would damage their names and would probably outcast them from every society which is not girlie-sympathizing enough to give special compensations to the female gender in an effort to make females appear just as relevant and competent as the stronger gender is, and that is probably why their reprehensible actions are nowhere to be found onlinie.
i do not like bob dylan, tom petty, mick jagger, george harrison or anyone like that. i also don't like people who criticize teens who twerk, because i like people who go after parents of teens who twerk. i guess that is the same as the frauldwins being bad parents, since the frauldwin-girls are a couple of oversexualized pedophile-entrappers.
ANYWAY...A PICTURE SPEAKS A THOUSAND WORDS...A VIDEO, ONLY TWO...
"my name is baldwin. alex a baldwin. and i approve this webpage"
ps - if anyone wants the grad-picture of the one frauldwin-hottie's face and tit-cleavage, email me and i'll give it away...just as easily as her picture implies she gives it away! do you sport short-shorts and titty-cleavage because you WANT men to view you as an object?!
(insert nanny fine's nasal laugh)
this is a novel-in-progress, more content is added daily.
song-parodies and porn-stories taunting avery brooke are at my main website
www.jaggedlittledyl.com.
if you need to reach me, i'll be at the following address:
112@kaitlinplace.com